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If there is one characteristic that separates the great athletes from his fellow athletes is the ability to handle his own negative feelings successfully.
In all of sport, setbacks will occur from time to time. Performances rarely goes as planned. Murphy's law inevitably occurs at times. Because of this you must be ready to deal with the problems that you encounter.
It was the 1977 Junior World Team final wrestle off in Murphy's Burro, Tennessee where I was competing for the Junior World Team spot at 82 kilos. The Junior World Championships were to be held in Las Vegas, Nevada later that month. I had beaten my previous opponents and was now in the final "two of three" wrestle off with a tough kid by the name of Don Brown from Oregon.
Don Brown was a real cocky wrestler who had a great lateral drop. He threw almost everyone he wrestled with this powerful throw. Throughout our training camp prior to this final wrestle off we had trained together a bit and I can say there was no love lossed between the two of us. Brown was very vocal and loud, always talking smack. I was pretty quiet and reserved, not an angel by any means, but mostly shy. This contrast in personalities made these wrestle off matches very emotional for me. I wanted very much to whip him good.
The first match was a very close and competitive bout, with a lot of close scores and situations. I ended up winning the match by a score of 5-3. After the match I went over to the cafeteria to eat lunch and rest for my next match with him. When I was at lunch Joe DeMeo, who was the head Junior World Team Coach, came in and told me he had decided that there was some controversial calls in the match and that they were not going to count it. They were going to have us wrestle it over.
Now this was devastating to me! I believed I had won this match fair and square and they were now screwing me. Needless to say I was very depressed and down. I had been away from home for over a month training in this World Team Camp, and I really felt alone. This was my first serious training camp where I was away from my home in the middle of the summer.
Approximately three hours later I had to wrestle the match over. This time Don Brown caught me in his infamous lateral drop and pinned me in less than one minute. Now I was extremely down! I went over in some corner of the gym and cried my eyes out.
One hour later I wrestled the third match (officially our second match). This match started off terrible for me. Again he caught me in his lateral drop plus one or two other moves and all of a sudden I found myself down 9-0.
Well now I was ticked! No more feeling sorry for myself. I was done with that attitude. Now I was mad. Now I was thinking if I am going to lose...I am going to go down swinging! So I kicked it into gear.
I turned up the burners and went to work. Long story short...I ended up coming back and beating Don in that match, 11-9. Now that felt goooood!
In our forth match of the day, just 30 minutes later, I whipped him good by a score of 12-0.
What I learned that day was tremendously valuable to my athletic career. I learned that no matter what happens you must let go of the disappointment or setback, and refocus. I was feeling sorry for myself and I was upset, feeling cheated, up until that third match where I was down 9-0. Then I finally let go of the anxiety and refocused.
When trying to master the skill of Emotional Power, which means you can totally control your emotions, you must know what to do when you are distracted, upset, or in a bad situation. If there is one characteristic that separates the great athletes from his fellow athletes, it is the ability to handle their own negative feeling successfully. In all of sport, setbacks will occur from time to time. Performances rarely goes as planned. Murphy's law inevitably occurs at times. Because of this you must be ready to deal with the problems that you encounter.
One of the best ways to deal with getting upset is to be prepared for it. All athletes need to refocus quickly after they have become distracted or experienced adversity. They need to let go of the upsetting moment and refocus on the next moment or step.
According to "The Achievement Zone" by Shane Murphy, Ph.D., he recommends using a four-point plan to refocus; React, Relax, Reflect, and Review.
In trying to summarize, Murphy states the following:
- REACT: As we know, setbacks can cause emotional reactions. It is difficult not to get upset when something gets in your way of success. The first reaction when you make a mistake or the official makes a bad call is to get angry. You may want to allow for this reaction by the key is then to quickly let it go and refocus on your game plan and strategy. Do not allow for your negative emotions to take over.
- RELAX: When negative emotions occur, you need to calm down quickly. Many athletes practice relaxation methods to help them calm down after a situation happens that upsets them. A lot of them use deep, abdominal breathing. The key is to find what works for you and then practice it so that it becomes a habit.
- REFLECT: By being able to calm down right away this will now allow for you to think more clearly. Thinking clearly will help you to learn something from the situation and make good decision on what to do next.
- RENEW: Once you have put all the negative feelings behind you and refocused on what you must do next, is when you now can refocus on the total goal at hand and renew your commitment to the outcome.
All great athletes encounter tough, grueling situations in either competition, or in training. Overcoming these adverse situations and being trained to refocus on the tasks at hand will keep you on track at achieving success. As usual, this takes practice. Use every tough situation to practice these skills and you will rapidly advance to the top of your game.
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