| That evening when I got in bed, I closed my eyes, relaxed and tried to visualize my 500 meter race; four and one-half laps, about forty-five seconds - first lap, second lap, third lap, a lap and a half to go! I was way out in the lead when out of nowhere came two big girls (they were really big in my head!) who passed me just before the finish line. I could only see myself getting the bronze medal. This happened over and over again until I realized what was happening. Those competitors were my intimidators, the obstacles to my success. We all have intimidators. The way to overcome them is to put yourself in the driver's seat through the use of imagery. This puts you in control!
The next time I visualized my race and saw those girls pass me before the line, I would magically make the race longer and pass them back! This control, although only in my mind, gave me such a sense of confidence that I believed I could be the best! It was this confidence that I took to the starting line with me on February 24, 1992, en route to winning my first Olympic god medal. The biggest barrier I faced in becoming my own vision was not one that was imposed on me, but one that I had always imposed on myself...fear! Mainly, the fear of losing.
My parents were always very supportive of my skating. I grew up winning most of the time, but there came a time when my Dad began to thrive on my early success. When I'd win, I'd make my Dad proud. When I'd lose, I'd feel like a failure. By the time I was 14, I had such a fear of losing that there were times I wouldn't even compete if I felt there was a chance that I might not win. I was defeating myself! It wasn't until years later that I gave myself a second chance. I learned to address this problem.
I began to approach each race, thinking, I'm going to race anyway, so I can either be afraid of losing and dwell on the negatives or I can learn to look forward to competing and learn from my mistakes. We always learn more from our mistakes than from our successes, anyway. Before I knew it, I had conditioned myself to look forward to the challenge of racing again and I loved it! And, of course, when we love what we are doing, we do a better job and by doing a better job, we become more successful at it. That is exactly how it happened for me. I qualified for the 1992 Winter Olympic Team in December 1991 by winning all of my races at the Olympic Trials. I had been working on my imagery and my confidence was strong. I was ready!
In Albertville, warming up, I found I had a bad left edge and I kept slipping on the turns. I didn't have time to sharpen my blades, so I tried to put it out of my mind so I wouldn't lose my focus. There was a false start and I fell hard on the ice, soaking my uniform and bruising my pelvic bone. Here I was at the Olympics, in the final, and everything seemed to be going wrong! Yet, somehow, I was able to put all the negative thoughts aside and remain focused. I returned to the line and said to myself, "Okay, I'm ready, let's fly!"
The next time the gun sounded, I got off the line in second place, feeling strong and comfortable. My left skate was not gripping at all and I had to hang on and not fall. Around the last turn, Yan Li came up on the inside and we clicked skates causing me to lose some ground just before the finish line. When I saw her begin to lunge for the line, my body just reacted. Though my right foot was behind her trailing foot, my left skate beat hers to the finish line by 4/100ths of a seconds for the gold medal. I didn't see my foot cross the line, so initially I thought I had lost. My dream finally came true when they announced my name as the 1992 Olympic Champion!
From the top of the awards platform, the view was everything I had imagined when I was the little girl on my parent's overstuffed chair. At that moment, I had become my own vision. We can make it happen.
"There's No Limit, if You Can See It, Believe It, Be It!" by Cathy Turner from Awaken the Olympian Within compiled by four-time Olympic gold medalist John Naber.
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