| A coach recently asked, "How do you coach players that have unrealistic expectations?"
That is really a great question. Most athletes maintain high especially if they have had past success. I ask athletes to not perform with any expectations, low or high, because they only set up athletes for failure especially if they are unrealistic or irrational, such as throwing a no-hitter every game in baseball, win every game, or make any errors. When an athlete doesn't meet these expectations, frustration, irritation, an anger, or feelings of failure emerge.
The best option is to replace expectations with confidence. With expectations, you presume many things such as how well you should play, how many errors you can make, and how smart you should play. It's do or die. A player's expectation is doomed at the first sign of an error or a loss.
Some people equate expectations with confidence. They are not the same. Confidence is the belief you can perform a task or play well, but it doesn't mean you absolutely must perform well. Confidence helps you play better, but expectations are judgments about your performance. As an athlete, you need to not set yourself up for frustration with high expectations. Instead, be confident that you can win, but don't expect it.
It's also better to replace expectations with set goals in which you strive for. Goals are changeable and not as absolute as expectations. You strive for your goals, but that doesn't mean you have to achieve them. Expectations are absolute beliefs about one's game, which is not achieved can make athletes unravel. Goals are more flexible and help the athlete to focus on the process of execution. For example, a baseball pitcher can set a goal for number of walks allowed, hits allowed, and strikeouts for each game. This way when you give up a hit, you can play on with composure.
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